


Silence (1)

by thegreatficmaster



Series: Supernatural Collection [49]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-07 19:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19856812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: Y/n has to deal with the aftermath of Sam falling into the cage.





	Silence (1)

Dean had changed ever since Sam fell into the cage. 

He left the hunting life, wanting to fulfil Sam’s wishes. 

But he couldn’t do much more than that. 

The loss of his brother, the one person who he was meant to protect, crushed him.

His whole life, Dean had made sure Sammy was safe, making sure he wasn’t in danger. 

Truth be told, he was glad his brother left to college. 

At least that way, there was a smaller chance of any demon getting to him. 

But now, his brother was trapped with Lucifer himself. 

Dean had lost the person he had with him his entire life.

He didn’t have the energy to do anything. 

He just sat there, looking out of the window, day after day.

Y/n hated it. 

He hated it so much. 

He realized Dean and Sam had a stronger bond than almost all other siblings. 

But it hurt him to see Dean like this. 

Not only because he didn’t like seeing Dean in pain of any sort. It also hurt because Dean being like this meant he wouldn’t even acknowledge y/n.

“Come on, Dean. We need to get you washed”, he said, looking at Dean as he continued staring out of the window, just watching, hoping he’d see Sam walking up the footpath.

“Seriously, Dean. Get up”, he demanded, sick of having to drag him there himself. 

Dean was considerably heavier than y/n. 

While he wasn’t weak, Dean was still quite a bit larger than him, which meant it would take a lot of effort to drag Dean up the stairs and into the bath.

Dean didn’t move a muscle though, barely acknowledging y/n at all. 

Y/n stepped forward, putting an arm around Dean’s back and throwing Dean’s arm across his shoulders. 

He heaved him out of the chair and upstairs, easing Dean onto the edge of the bath as he turned the taps, starting the bath.

“You know, today I was invited to a dinner one of the women in the office is throwing at her house”, he commented, unbuttoning Dean’s shirt.

“She asked if we wanted to go”, he added, taking of the t-shirt he was wearing, revealing his beautiful torso, now a little less muscular due lack of exercise.

But y/n still loved it.

“Do you think we could go? I mean-I think it’s time we went out somewhere. Right?” he asked, taking off Dean’s pants and boxers.

Usually, y/n would have been hard right now, wanting to take a ride on Deans’ cock.

But he knew that wouldn’t happen. 

Hell, they hadn’t had sex since Sam fell into the cage, which was over five months ago.

Dean said nothing, just staring blankly at the wall in front of him, not really listening to anything. 

He couldn’t. 

All his thoughts were on how he lost his brother.

How he failed to do the one thing his father asked of him.

“Never mind. I figured you wouldn’t want to anyway”, y/n whispered to himself, defeated and tired. 

He helped Dean into the bath and began cleaning him gently with a sponge, the scent of the calming mint shower gel Dean was used to using, filling the bathroom. 

Dean used to love this, the way y/n would massage his hair with shampoo. 

But now?

Nothing. 

Nothing at all.

Y/n resigned himself, knowing this time wouldn’t be any different and stayed silent, washing Dean up, already tired from his day, but knowing he had to be the one to do this, because Dean definitely wasn’t going to wash or feed himself. 

Sometimes, Dean wouldn’t even go to the toilet when y/n was at work.

So y/n’d come home to see Dean sat in a puddle of his own urine. Or something worse.

He finished bathing Dean and took him back downstairs, cooking him some soup and placing it in front of his boyfriend, getting himself a bowl, not having eaten all day.

As he got to eating his own, he realized Dean hadn’t touched his at all, his hands still on his lap, just looking at nothing in particular, his eyes dead and empty.

“Dean…baby, you need to eat”.

But Dean gave no response.

Y/n shut his eyes, anger, but mostly hurt and pain building up as he put his spoon down and picked Dean’s up, shuffling his chair so he could be closer and turning Dean’s head.

He fed Dean the soup, making sure he swallowed it and wiped up his face, a few tears falling at the fact that this was now his life.

The fact that he no longer had Dean. 

He didn’t have anyone.

After feeding Dean, y/n helped him upstairs, placing him in bed and went back down, his stomach rumbling. 

Y/n sat alone at the table, eating his now cold soup, salty from the tears streaking down his face, which fell into the bowl.

He sobbed and sobbed, not able to hold himself back, glad Dean was upstairs right now, finally releasing the stress and pain.

Sleeping right on the edge of the bed, his back to Dean, y/n wondered if maybe he should leave. 

Dean didn’t love him. 

How could he? 

He didn’t even acknowledge y/n’s existence anymore. 

Y/n was basically a caretaker. 

He deserved better.

But who was better than Dean Winchester?

Y/n always thought Dean was too good for him. 

So who would accept y/n if he left Dean. 

Would he ever find someone he loved as much as he did Dean?

He couldn’t leave him. 

No matter how much it hurt, Dean needed someone, and y/n needed Dean. 

If that meant their relationship was over, and y/n was only there to look after Dean, so be it.

A few weeks passed, everything overwhelming y/n now. 

He had to take up three jobs just to keep the house and take care of Dean.

On top of that, one of his bosses was on his ass for absolutely no reason at all. 

He was almost fired and he was given a warning. 

Then there was the fact that y/n was frustrated that he hadn’t had sex in over six months now.

It was all just getting to him. And he knew, sooner or later, he’d snap.

Entering the house, he was once again greeted with the smell of urine. 

Looking in Dean’s direction, he saw the Winchester just sat there, the stale urine dried up now. 

And then, y/n just completely lost it.

“WHAT THE FUCK, DEAN?!” he shouted, the other man moving for the first time in a while. 

Dean looked to y/n with wide eyes, before settling back to his previous state.

“No! I don’t fucking think so. You look at me! Right now”, he yelled, grabbing Dean’s chin and turning his face, Dean avoiding y/n’s eyes.

Seeing the broken look in Dean’s eyes, all anger left y/n, replaced by desperation.

“Dean-please”, he whispered, having no energy after the long day.

“Just-please. Say something. Anything. I don’t care if you say hi. If you tell me you love me. Hell, you can tell me you don’t love me anymore. Just-please-say something to me”.

Dean looked at y/n, seeing the tears flowing down his face. 

He wished he could do something. 

He wanted to grab hold of him and never let him go. 

Tell y/n how much he loved him. 

But he couldn’t. 

He just couldn’t. 

He didn’t have the energy or the strength. 

He knew as soon as he opened his mouth, he would break. 

Break over his brother. 

Break over hurting y/n. 

So he said nothing.

Y/n looked into Dean’s eyes, praying for a single word. 

But nothing came. 

The silence became the most painful thing to him, worse than any torture he could endure.

“I understand”, he choked out, getting up and leaving Dean Winchester, the hunter crying silently over hurting the love of his life. 

Y/n entered the bathroom and locked the door, his heart shattering into a million pieces, knowing it was over. 

It was all over the second Sam fell into the cage.

Over the next month or so, y/n slowly broke everything off with Dean. 

While he never told him they were breaking up, it was pretty obvious.

He began sleeping on the couch a few times a week, more and more, until eventually, he no longer slept in their room and instead slept in the spare room. 

He barely even spoke to Dean, knowing he’d be met with silence.

So he just stopped trying.

All he did was feed and bathe Dean. Put him to bed. Then bring him down and set him in the chair. 

They were two strangers living in the same house.

Nothing more. 

It had been almost a year since Sam had been taken from them. 

Y/n had been out on a few dates within the last two months or so. 

Dean watched sometimes as a man would drop y/n off, kissing his cheek as y/n smiled slightly.

It killed him inside, knowing y/n was moving on. 

That was supposed to be him kissing y/n. 

It was supposed to be him taking y/n out on dates. 

But there was nothing he could do. 

He couldn’t bring himself to get out of the chair, in case he missed Sammy when he arrived.

Y/n had come home from work, getting the food ready. 

As he was chopping the vegetables, a knock at the door interrupted him.

 _‘Who the hell could that be?’_ he wondered, grabbing a gun and making his way to the door. 

Swinging it open, he was met with the face he thought he would never see again.

There stood Sam Winchester, a smile on his face, looking a little stranger than y/n remembered. 

Not that he cared.

It was Sam. 

Sam was back.

“S-Sam?”

Dean snapped his head in y/n’s direction at the mention of his brother’s name.

“Yep. It’s me”, he said, stepping into the house.

Dean saw his brother and jumped out of his chair for the first time in almost a year.

“Sammy”, he said, glee and relief in his words as he pulled his baby brother into a hug.

Y/n watched the scene unfold, tears in his eyes at the fact that Sam was back and Dean had his brother.

But also due to the fact that he knew he could never make Dean happy.

Not if Sam wasn’t around.

Dean didn’t need y/n anymore. 

The one he needed was Sam. 

Not y/n.

That fact killed y/n.

He knew he would never be enough, so he left the brothers on their own and went to his room, closing his eyes as he heard the brothers talk, his pillow soaked with his tears as he realized he was completely alone.

The silence in the room was only interrupted by the muffled sobs of a broken man. 


End file.
